We measure your cat across five dimensions. Yes, this is funny. No, the structure isn't entirely random. Yes, you should still treat the result with the seriousness it deserves, which is to say: not very much.
Daring, Chaos, Mischief, Dominance, and Wildness. The naming is ours; the underlying structure of behavioral dimentions is borrowed from peer-reviewed feline-personality research (specifically, work that proposes five-factor models of cat behavior). We didn't replicate any specific instrument or its items — every question on this site was written from scratch in casual English to keep it clear of copyright issues.
Each of the 15 questions answers a binary yes/no and contributes to exactly one dimension (3 questions per dimension). Each dimension's score is the mean of its 3 answers, normalized to 0–1. The persona assignment then follows a small decision tree on the resulting five-vector — for example, high Dominance + high Wildness yields The Tiny Tyrant; high Chaos + high Mischief yields The Tiny Tornado; low scores across the board yield The Velvet Whisper. The full algorithm is open in the site's source code (single TypeScript file, ~50 lines).
Five of the fifteen questions (one per dimension) are reverse-coded, meaning a yes lowers rather than raises that dimension's score. This is a small trick from real behavioral surveys: it forces a respondent to actually read each question instead of clicking yes fifteen times in a row. If you sped through clicking only one answer, you'll see this in the breakdown — it produces a midline result rather than a pegged extreme. Working as intended.
This is not a diagnostic tool. The respondent isn't your cat — it's you, answering on behalf of your cat, after a lifetime of selectively remembering the funny moments. The cat hasn't filled out a survey in their life and would refuse if you asked. The five personas are creative groupings, not clinical categories. If your cat shows aggression, anxiety, or sudden behavior changes, please see a vet, not a website with a cartoon cat in the corner.
We don't keep your answers — scoring runs in your browser, and a 200-byte cookie holds only the final persona for 30 days so the result page can re-render if you come back. We don't profile you across sessions. We don't sell anything related to your identity. The AdCP signal endpoint exposes aggregated, anonymous segments (e.g., "cat owner", "cat owner with high-energy cat") to AI buyer agents — no individual user is identifiable from any of it.